Ra had about a .0256 second turn around to begin working on getting even with Pops and his little “joke”. While Abram and Saria were in custody, Ra took the Pharaoh into the next room and had a little talk. While the Pharaoh was in full plead mode trying to seek forgiveness for his error, Ra was trying to get him to shut up so he could explain his plan. It’s kind of funny how that works, if deity gets bettered by someone they can’t kill, namely other gods, then those who are involved in the situation are forgiven with no questions asked. But if you are a follower of that deity and you mess up, you get no warning, or pink slip allowing you to get your things together and to get out of the land. Instead you get flattened by the closest natural disaster that took about three minutes to form.
Abram and Saria were a little concerned about their situation, and with twenty-seven spears were being pointed at them and Saria decided that right then was an appropriate time to become a little testy about her husbands god, “What the hell do you mean He’s not answering? He’s the one who got us in this! Try Him again, and AGAIN!”
“Now Saria, the Lord does not abandon His chosen children. He will provide a way.”
“Yeah a way to join Him directly after screwing us over for God knows what!”
I hate to bring this up, but the truth is that sometimes gods really are that shallow. God had made all these promises to Abram in order to get Abram to do what He wanted so He could laugh at Ra. He had no intention of fulfilling His end of the bargain. He fully expected Ra to kill Abram and Saria so He wouldn’t have to fulfill His end of the agreement. The thing was that Ra knew the old codger well enough to know this was the case. Ra also knew that nothing would annoy my old man more than having to keep His word when He didn’t intend to.
After Ra finally got the Pharaoh to shut up, he started to explain the situation. Now when gods start explaining to their followers that there are multiple gods, well actually this was never a problem back then, it is only recently that the phenomenon of “only one god” has caught on. So Ra explaining to the Pharaoh that Abram’s god was responsible for the deception was a fairly easy situation to explain. Commonly, this excuse, when introduced to the followers thought process was greedily accepted, since, let’s face it, followers always hate to get in trouble with their god. Besides, if they could blame their blunder on another god and not get in trouble so much the better.
It just so happens that this was the birth of the overly used excuse, “The devil made me do it.” It started with the Pharaoh and Ra. When the Pharaoh started sharing this story with others people were amazed that Ra forgave the Pharaoh because of the reasoning that another god made him do something he was not suppose to. People started using this excuse all the time to get out of getting in trouble for something they were caught doing that they knew they were not allowed to do. And, for the record, I can make people do anything. Humans do everything of their own volition, and shame on every single one of you little bastards that have tried to blame an innocent bystander, namely me, when you get the urge to do something your society disapproves of. Jerks.
Historically speaking, it was during this era that the first atheists started appearing. For some odd reason the god following classification of people has never been able to understand the non believers. I mean they don’t understand the “other believers” or those that believe in a deity other than the one you believe in, but the concept of not believing in any sort of deity commonly invokes fear, anger, befuddlement, or all three. Personally, it makes perfect sense as to why the atheists started appearing. You have all these gods getting mad at one another, or their followers, or someone else’s followers, and so on, and they start killing each other because they think differently or act differently than what someone else thinks is correct. Now with all this “ungodly and murderous” behavior, which is actually godly behavior because that is how the gods were behaving, one could, and actually quite a few did, look at it as a bunch of chemically imbalanced, power hungry people trying to figure things out for themselves. All the while appointing themselves as some all-knowing, all-powerful source of hoarding affection from a mass of people who could not do some of the same things they could do. This has resulted in a detachment of the gods from their followers. The gods have pretty much left us all to fend for ourselves, their existence and stories have fallen into a realm of fairytales and mythology. I think most gods associated with the whole Earth project suffer from A.D.D. (attention deficit disorder). They played with their followers on Earth for a while, but got bored and decided to go do something else that was more fun and entertaining. There are still a number of followers on the Earth today, but you can definitely see who has stuck it out on this whole Earth project and who got bored and moved on.
The Pharaoh’s initial reaction was to kill Abram and Saria. The problem with earthlings is that this has commonly been the first reaction to many of life’s conflicts, not the actual killing, but the concept of, “To fix this problem all I have to do is kill those responsible.” Good thing Ra was there to help the Pharaoh make some decisions. Ra sent for his “gutter dwellers”. This is a phrase not commonly associated with the gods, but it is a sort of slang the gods use when referring to this particular type of helper. Gutter dwellers are essentially spirit spies that spy on the other gods. When something falls through the cracks and misconduct occurs concerning the actions of a god, the gutter dwellers are there to collect that information, storing it for when they are called. Once the gutter dwellers arrived Ra learned about my old mans ploy and how He used Abram and Saria, and how they ended up in the land in the first place. Ok, and just maybe, I sort of, kind of, might of, happened to stop by around this point to pay Ra a little visit.
I knew the old man wasn’t going to show up. And then I head that Ra was pulling this gutter dwellers I knew it was time to act. Those kids had no idea who they had gotten involved in. I figured that I might be able to help the situation. It wasn’t fair to put Abram and Saria through that. Sure the kid was a pain in my ass once he found God, but overall he was a good kid and he deserved a little representation. I just wanted to make sure Ra knew and that his dwellers hadn’t missed anything. I asked if it would be ok to go talk to Abram and Saria and get their side of things.
“They know me from their old stomping grounds.” I told Ra. “I’m pretty sure they’ll open up and tell us exactly what you want to know.”
The two of them were so grateful to see me they both started crying.
“In order to get you out of this I need to know everything the Lord told you to do and what you would get in return.” I told them.
Between sobs Abram conveyed his side of what happened. Once he was finished I went back to Ra and told him about all the promises Pops made to Abram, Saria and their seed. I also might have let it slip out about Abram and Saria’s lack of marital liberties. Ra began to smile. He old Sun god was devising a plan, a payback that would last until the end of the earth and would be an eternal reminder that creative sneakiness was not one of Pops strong suits.
