When Pops showed up at the office, there was a small pause by everyone there, a sort of angelic moment of silence. They all knew it was only a matter of time until Pops returned, and up to the time of His return it was a stress-free and hostile-free work environment, and it was going to be greatly missed. When Pops put out a memo to everyone that He was planning on destroying Sodom and Gomorrah, and all its inhabitants, a committee was put together to approach the old man for the sole purpose of trying to talk Him out of it. This was an action that would counter a number of goodwill projects that had been put into place by Pops organization and the other gods on Earth. Pops had missed the memo that clearly stated being pissed off was no longer a viable reason for destroying landscapes and/or civilizations.
The committee threw Pops off a little at first. It was the first time He experienced open opposition to one of His ideas since that little incident that got me sent to Earth in the first place. Pops has a little catch up meeting with His manager, learning about some of the changes that had taken place while He had been out the past few years. For the most part He was impressed and liked the direction that things were going. The evolutionary existence of Sodom and Gomorrah was something that showed that the whole world was beginning to come together instead of the gods keeping humans separated and afraid.
Still, Pops refused to accept that there was a place in His land where I could go and be openly accepted and where He would be subbed. “That city has got to go. There isn’t a single godly person in that entire town. It is a pox on the existence of all of us and must be smitten…smote.”
“But Lord, Lot lives there.” said one of His managers.
“Who?”
“Lot. He is one of your most devoted disciples. He spreads his knowledge of your existence and helps people in need.”
“I was there. Even speaking of one’s god was considered rude and unacceptable. No. You must be wrong. This is a bad, bad town, that doesn’t like me much, nor I it.”
“The social experience is a little different there.” said the HR manager. “But there are allocated sections of town where preaching is allowed.”
“I was there for a full afternoon and not once did I find a place in the entire city that allowed preaching!”
The HR rep sighed. He was going to have to put together a PowerPoint presentation to try to get Pops to open His eyes. Talking wasn’t going to work, so instead he handed an folder to Pops. This is Lot’s file. It holds all the information you need to know about him and how he has been sharing your message to the people the past 17 years.”
Pops looked over the information and was surprised to learn that someone as passive as Lot could have helped as many people as he had. Still the convert rate of four in the past seventeen years, three of which were his wife and two kids, and the other one only did it so he had a place to sleep for a few months while in the city, but eventually moved away and left his faith in the city with Lot. On paper, Lot was considered a failure as a prophet, but what he was doing and the lives he was touching was incalculable and was really, really difficult to put down on paper in a statistic appealed to a person that was only interested in the bottom line.
The discussion only lasted about an hour, and ended with an overly annoyed god begrudgingly agreeing to the proposal that Lot had two weeks to bring some righteousness to Sodom and Gomorrah. If he failed, the city would be destroyed, and that was the end of the meeting. The angels were actually amazed that they had gotten two weeks out of Him. There was a lot that the Make Sodom and Gomorrah Righteous committee had to do and oddly enough I was one of the first people they contacted.
Mike sent me a message, suggesting that I get myself and any of my “minions” out of town because it was on the verge of eradication. The other gods also contacted and told what was going on and what was going to happen if Lot failed. And also that since the land was technically on Pops domain that He had the ultimate say is what was to happen. That evening three angels headed to Lot’s house to tell him about the ultimatum of this town. This was the first time since Lot had arrived in town that he visited with not only followers of his god, but angelic messengers of his god as well. It was both one of the greatest and worst experiences he had ever had.
The angels told Lot that the only thing saving the city from instant total destruction was him and that in order to save the city Lot had to go out and convert some people. Even if it was only one convert, as long as it was a legitimate convert the city would be spared. Lot knew the disposition of the people and knew that it was going to be a very difficult task.
As the angels finished explaining this situation Abigail got home. Before she knew who was actually visiting she asked, “Lot, honey, are the prostitutes visiting again? There’s a bit of a crowd gathering outside.”
“No dear, we do have some very special guests visiting though.”
“So not the prostitutes?” she called out from the other room while hanging up her coat.
“No dear, these visitors are from out of town.”
The angels just sat quietly there looking at one another unsure how to respond to them being referred to as prostitutes.
“So they are prostitutes!” Abigail said laughing a little. “I never met one that was raised here. Maybe our little Ann will be the first.”
“Abi!”
“Oh you know I’m kidding… mostly.” and into the sitting room walked Abigail with a small smile on her face. She stopped just inside the doorway looking at the three guests. These guests where definitely from out of town.
“Abigail these are messengers, they have come with dire news. This is Phil, Steve, and Bernadette.” The three angels stood to greet Abigail.
“What news?”
The angels then proceeded to tell Abigail the same thing they had told Lot. Tears began to stream down Abigail’s cheeks. Sodom and Gomorrah was her home and the only one she had truly ever known and ever wanted to know. The thought of it being destroyed including all of the people they had fed, had gotten to know, and learned to love, it was… well, it was wrong. It’s the type of thing no one is ever prepared to hear and the fact that it was going to happen in two weeks only added to the severity. The most sombering thing about it all was that it was going to be the god that they had taught about every Saturday. Their god of love and acceptance was going to be the one to cause this horrific event to occur.
After Abigail had calmed down, the discussion began on possible ways to get the people to listen, to get them interested, and to get them converted to help save them the city. Preaching out on the streets would only cause the people to reject everything Lot said to them. Going door to door only interrupts people who have better things to do and are probably doing those things. This only starts the discussion with an element of annoyance, which causes any possible conversion to become invalid and fruitless. It seemed that telling people the truth might possibly create fear converts and being converted due to fear of imminent destruction does not create a true faithful convert either.
They discussed the possibility of using Lot’s girls to try to entice their many callers to learn about their god, using the no coitus with non believer’s line of logic. Lot knew this type on conversion tactic was also invalid. Not to mention that when it came to getting true converts, the promise of coitus was one of the most devious and unethical ways to get people to convert. Sex conversions were not apart of Lot’s belief structure. As the evening wore on it seemed the less and less likely it was that they would obtain a successful and true conversion within the next two weeks.
After about three hours Lot realized it was time to feed the poor. They had learned to rely on his kindness and he was not going to let them down. He asked if the angels wanted to help him and Abigail feed the poor. Hoping that perhaps being in the angels company might entice some of them to ask to learn more. The angels agreed.
Here’s the thing about angels that is important to remember, they commonly expel about two to three times as many pheromones as the average human. Now while this does add to the euphoric feeling you experience in their company, over prolonged visitations one does create a fairly intense craving for some type of carnal exchange with someone else. As a result of this an angel gets propositioned to more times one would care to believe. Angels don’t spend enough time with humans on a regular basis to really know about this, at least they didn’t back then when visiting Lot.
The evening was going very well and there were about thirteen different people that showed genuine interest in learning more about what Lot had to teach, and were promptly invited to attend services that coming Saturday. The thing was that people just keep filing into Lots house simply to be near the angels. It was when people subtly and intentionally started rubbing up against the door way, the soup table, the pulpit, or each other that Lot knew something was going on. When he realized that he was starting to feel how the others were acting he knew that things needed to be remedied in a hurry.
Lot explained that there was no more food and that he and the others really needed to call it a night. The people reluctantly started to leave, and most as they left Lot noticed that many were holding other peoples hands. About 20 minutes later there was a knock at the front door. Lot opened the door to greet 47 people who were standing outside.
“I’m sorry, but we are done serving this evening, we are all out of food.” offered Lot.
“We know Lot,” one man said as he stepped forward, taking the spokesman’s role for the group. “We were wondering what your friends are doing this evening?”
“My friends?”
“The three that were assisting you at dinner.”
“Oh yes, um, I believe they were getting ready to turn in. They’ve got a bit of a journey tomorrow.”
“Do you think they’d fancy a nightcap?”
“Well…no, no I don’t.”
“Please check, we’re all very… wantful for some more time with them.”
“Sure, let me go see. I’ll be right back.” Lot closed the door, then locked the door, and headed to the kitchen where the angels were washing up the dishes. “So there are about fifty people outside wanting to spend some time with you three. I told them you weren’t interested and that you have to leave early in the morning, but they are pretty excited about spending some more time with the three of you. Any ideas?”
“Oh, actually we were going to be leaving tonight. There is still a lot to do.” Steve said, as the other two nodded.
“Don’t you want to get a fresh start? I mean that’s a pretty long trip, at least I’d guess it is.”
“Actually it’s really not that far at all for us.” added Bernadette.
“Oh yeah… right! Of course. Ok… so about these people out front?”
“Please tell them that we are leaving soon and as much as we’d love to stay we really do have to be on your way.”
“Ok, I’ll tell them, but I don’t think the rhyme is going to help any. Be right back.”
Lot headed back to the front door, unlocked it and opened it, surprised to see that the number of people outside has almost doubled. “Sorry friends, it appears that they are heading out shortly. They are on a very tight schedule and have to leave quite soon. On a plus note I do expect they will be visiting again soon.”
There was a sigh of disappointment throughout the crowd.
“I know, I know. Still, they may be back this Saturday so I’d be very pleased to see you this Saturday if you’d all like to come.” Lot knew this was cheating, but the worry of his home and his friends being destroyed in two weeks was finally starting to get to him. “Peace to you all and good night.” he added as he began to shut the door again.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa… one last thing then.”
“Yes.”
“Your new friends… you know them well enough to know if they are of a… well … you know,” said the crowds spoke person looks a bit flushed and looks down at his feet, “a playful disposition?”
“Playful?” asked Lot knowing exactly what they meant, but praying that it wasn’t what they meant. “You mean like games?”
“Games?” bellowed the spokes person. “No! Of course not games you daft man. We mean sex, sex with lots of different people of over a short amount of time. We’ve all been talking and we all seem to have a strong craving for your three friends in there.”
There it is thought Lot. No confusing what they mean by that. And it’s really not going to help out the city case when the Angels get back heaven. “I see. Unfortunately, they are of the same religious following as myself, and you know what that me…”
“Ah damn it all to hell then.” said the spokes person. His tongue was playing along his upper lip indicating that he was thinking a bit harder than he had previously. “Don’t you teach forgiveness?”
Lot was surprised. Apparently there was one person in town that has actually retained one of his teachings, “Well yes, but…”
“So couldn’t we all have sex and then they could be forgiven of it after?”
“That’s not really the way it’s supposed to work.”
“Why not?”
“Because they wouldn’t do that, it’s part of what they believe.”
“Would they take money?” someone from the crowd yelled out.
“NO! Please this is not debatable. Just let them leave in peace and try not to proposition them when they head out.”
“Ok fine! But we’re going to wait for them to see them off.”
“I’ll let them know.”
“You do that.”
Lot was realizing that this little collection of people were going to be touch pushy on his guests, but at least the distraction was helpful in him avoiding the playful urges he had been experiencing the last few hours. Abigail did not help the situation with her obviously intentional brushing by as she was picking things up around the house. Lot closed the door and called the entire family into the back room and explained the mood of the group outside, explaining that the angels were going to need to sneak out. He decided to send his daughters to talk to the mob while he and Abigail would help the angles sneak out the back door to slip away into the night. The girls needed to make a bunch of noise so the ones watching the back door would feel enticed to head back to the front door. Everyone understood what needed to be done and put the plan into effect.
Sally put Steve’s shawl on over her head and put on some of her fathers robes. Annabelle walked out first and announced that one of the visitors wanted to talk to the crowd before they left, inviting everyone to gather around. This seemed to work, because from around the back of the house another 30 people joined the congregation out front. As Sally stepped out the crowd began to cheer. As the cheers shot through the house, the back door opened. Lot stuck his head out to make sure that the way was clear. Once he was sure there was no one around Phil, Steve, and Bernadette left the house silently and thanked Lot for his time and for the meeting with them.
“Good luck Lot.” the three said, “We’ll be keeping a close eye on how things progress this next week. But just in case, it might be a good idea to begin packing your most important possessions in the event you have to move in a hurry.”
Lot nodded, and thanked them for their help and the warning and with that the door was closed and the angels were gone. Since the girls were keeping the mob at bay, Lot whispered something to Abigail. She smiled, blew out the candles.
Annabelle and Sally were still working the crowd. Once everyone had quieted down Annabelle explained the situation, and actually tried to do a little preaching about following Pops and if they did they would have the opportunity to spend more time with Phil, Steve, and Bernadette. She even passes out some papyrus and started collecting a list of people that would be interested. After about 20 minutes of filler dialogue Lot whispered from behind the door that it was ok that the guests were safely away. With that Sally held up her hand pulled off the shawl and yelled, “I’m sorry friends, but our guests have slipped away. They did ask me to give you this.” and she threw the shawl into the crowd. Sally and Annabelle ran into the house and locked the door behind them as the crowd stood slowly realizing what had just happened.
The crowd seemed to have mixed feelings, some were sad, some started to fight for the shawl, some started making out as a result of all the angelic pheromones they had been exposed, and others headed back to the back door in hopes that they could catch up with the angels. Eventual everyone wandered off. Lot and Abigail congratulated the girls on a job well done and then told them that they were going to their room and were not to be disturbed, until morning. They had some “talking” to do and needed some privacy.
The next few days Lot tried to do go about his daily routine, only a little more so. He would drop hints about services on Saturday to everyone he would talk to. He’s mention how grateful he was for the life his creator had given him and for all the blessings he has received from the Lord. The problem was the people knew him. They were not about to let him give credit for his life and what he was able to accomplish to anyone else. When he would try to give credit to God, the people would ask him the simple but pertinent questions, which would start the follow types of conversations:
“Praise the Lord. All of my paintings were just sold at the gallery.”
“Praise who?”
“The Lord.”
“Lord? Lord who? Is that who bought all your paintings?”
“Oh no, He is my God. It was through Him that I have this gift of painting.”
“Did He paint any of those pictures you just sold?”
“Well, not exactly, I mean I was the vessel the He used…”
“You mean He possessed you, and painted them?”
“No, not at all. He gave me the gift to share this beauty with the world.”
“Gift? So He bought you the paints you use? Or did He just pop by for some tea and give you the gift of painting as a parting gift?”
“Well, no, nothing like that, it was more …”
“Lot, you paint because you love to. You feed the poor because you love helping others. You are a good man and that has nothing to do with your God. It has everything to do with you. You can believe in a higher power, but don’t let Him take credit for your greatness. You created the you, you are today. You developed who you are and how you are, and it comes from inside, not from some external source. So please stop trying to belittle yourself. I’m sure your god appreciates the gesture, but it really does cheapen you and Him when you talk like that.”
“… I’m sorry.”
“I know you are. It’s ok. See you tomorrow.”
This was the type of conversation Lot experience for three day in a row, and each time it became more and more clear that converting the people, any people, was not going to be happening anytime soon. Sodom and Gomorrah was not going to be saved. He just wasn’t the preacher that the angels were looking for and that his god wanted him to be. He did want to try to warn the people about the imminent destruction. He knew and loved the people, and could not quietly pack as destruction came nearer and nearer. Lot explained to the girls what was happening. He then instructed them to help their mother to begin packing. He also told them that during their free time they should try to convince their friends to leave town before the end of next week and to stay away for at least five days.
For the next three days Lot spoke out to everyone he saw, pleading with them to leave town for a week. This only caused people to begin avoiding him on the street and thus counter affecting his initial purpose of warning the people. So he had to come up with a new way to motivate people to get out of the city. At the same time, Abigail started to realize that if her home was going to be destroyed along with all of their friends, her life was going to forever change. This realization got her started on inviting her closest friends to the house to bribe them some of her favorite household items if they promised to leave town for two weeks.
At the end of the week, Lot had converted no one nor convinced anyone to leave. Abigail had succeeded in getting two of her closest friends to promise to leave with their family on the day before dooms day and come back 2 days after the destruction. As for the girls, well things got a little tricky there. Sure they were young, but it didn’t help that the girls were teenagers and the fact that their bodies were changing as well as their emotional and physical wants. These wants mostly ended up migrating towards their reproductive organs as opposed to their brains, and the let’s just say that the visit from the angels did not help a lot in this regard. The angel pheromones actually awakened some fairly intense desires that dealt with a number of the boy callers the girls had in town. Both girls decided to head out and use their little awakening to entice some of the cuter boys, and girls, to get out of Sodom and Gomorrah for the next week.
Another problem with being young and trying to get people to do what you want using sex is that the promise of it is much more motivating than the gift of it with the expectation that the promise will be kept. Meaning, telling someone that you will have sex with them when they return from leaving town for a week works much better than giving someone sex and then telling them to leave town for a week. They have already gotten the reward. There is not a lot of motivation to keep the promise. With the 17 boys and 13 girls that the two (combined) gave sex to as an incentive for them to promise to leave town for a week, only 2 boys and 7 girls actually kept their promise. Had the girls promised to have sex with them when they returned after D-day, I believe 87 boys would have been saved and 43 girls.
I suppose that since I brought up the male/female thing in Sodom and Gomorrah, I should probably point out a few things. Before I do, I need to clarify that there are predominantly three types of Christians on the Earth. First are the “the bible is fact” anti-Christian Christians. These are the ones who read their bible religiously, and think everything they need to know about life and living is in that book. And that the book is infallible and 100% fact. They also seem to be the most hateful and judgmental group of self proclaimed Christians on the planet.
Second are the semi-religious, fractionally fundamentalist Christians. These people may or may not read the bible or go to church, but believe in it because their parents said too. They do share some of the fundamentalist hate on certain items, but are commonly not openly or overly in your face about it unless someone is telling them to be.
Then there is the third group. They are the philosophical Christian where the bible a tool that teaches by metaphor and is not a factual and historically reliable document. This is where your evolution believing Christians come from. They believe in Carl and may or may not go to church, but think that as far as deity goes Carl was a good lad and agree with his view that people need to be nice to one another.
For the “the bible is fact” Christians, Sodom and Gomorrah is one of the end all be all of evil places because it was a place that openly accepted and practiced homosexuality. The problem with “the bible is fact” Christians is that when it comes to this topic, there is no mental effort used when looking at the truth about homosexuality. The topic is usually discussed in terms of fear, hate, or poor parenting, or a combination of the three.
Perhaps some of them are afraid of their own sexual preference and have been taught to hate it and be afraid of people finding out about it. The main problem with this issue lies in those people that look as the bible as an infallible book written by Pops and Carl, only nothing in the book was actually written by Carl himself, or Pops for that matter. The bible is a collection of other people’s stories, most of which start out with, “Guess what I heard.” It has some good lessons in it, it does. But, it does have a lot of bad lessons as well.
As for homosexuality, is it evil and a sin in the eyes of god? No. Honestly Pops doesn’t give a shit. He never has. He never will. Besides, Mom would leave Him if He ever tried to disown any of His children for anything as unimportant as sexual preference. It’s just not important in heaven, let’s hope that someday it’s not important on Earth.
So back to Sodom and Gomorrah, as the first week ended there were a few friends that Lot’s family had been able to ensure their safety. Lot decided the best thing for him to do to get more people out of town was to bribe them using his ability as a renowned artist. He started talking to heads of households about his desire to produce a mural in a home, but that he wanted everyone in the house to leave town for a week while he painted it. He required that even the servants had to leave, telling them he could not be disturbed no one could be in the house until the mural was completed.
This plan worked quite well, he was able to get 100 households and 37 businesses owners and employees out of town before D-day, which equated to about 2763 people that he was able to save. Because the family had been so busy trying to get people out of town, they had missed their meeting with the angels concerning their progress. This left the angels with no information to report on. This resulted in them making things up, to try to buy a little more time. It didn’t work, in fact since there was no proof of progression Pops decided to start the destruction at 6 AM, instead of just before noon.
